“Parents can take matters into their own hands in a more direct way, through the newly developed Parent TrApp. This is an app for smartphones (only $19.99) that, when activated late in the evening, makes phone calls every minute, on the minute, to their teens’ cell phones. The constant interruptions will surely stifle any budding intimacy. But if the teens ignore the call, there’s a great backup plan—the constantly ringing cell phone in the pocket is likely to give teenagers a heavy dose of radiation, soon rendering them sterile. Voila! Teen pregnancy vanquished without so much as a sex talk, on the phone or in person.”
Web developers, thank me later.
Written at the Hi-Fi Cafe in Milwaukee–after all these years, still garage-a-billy all day long.